I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille!

I knew I wasn't seeing things.

Close-ups of Stephen Harper, a horrible thing all by themselves, have shown what looks suspiciously like eye-liner and lipstick, presumably to give him the doe-eyed, dew-kissed look. But his sunburn, as revealed in the house of commons this week, couldn't be covered up.

An article in the Toronto Star reveals that he travels with a make-up and image consultant. He's tried to get her to move full-time to Ottawa, but she likes Toronto better. Maybe she feels the gig in Ottawa wouldn't last very long. One can only hope.

Maybe he should learn how to put on his own make-up. It's not so hard. Women have been doing it for years.

"The marks, which look more like a painful sunburn than a tan, have been the subject of speculation and several questions to PMO officials since Parliament resumed. And they apparently cannot be disguised by makeup that Harper is known to wear for TV appearances and other big events.

...[P]arty insiders say Harper is notoriously sensitive about receiving advice about his image and has swiftly put a series of subordinates in their place when they bring up the subject. Muntean [Harper's image consultant] remains the only person he tolerates tips from. Over the years she has become a cheerful fixture in his entourage, a vivacious blonde who stands out among the tense handlers that surround him.

She worked for years in television, and wound up as CBC Television's head of makeup in the 1990s. Muntean eventually struck off on her own as a private consultant, and began advising Harper during the Conservative leadership race. She went on to assist him in the last two federal election campaigns.

Sources say Harper has become her main client, and he has tried unsuccessfully to have her move to Ottawa from Toronto."

Reminds me of a remark one of my high-school teachers made when in despair over some of her less promising students: "You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear."

Only one word for this - eeeeEWWWWW.